Joyful Storyteller

Pudding: Vanilla. Chocolate. MMM, banana! When I was “cookie mom” for my daughter’s Girl Scout troop, we’d layer the shortbread cookies, bananas, banana pudding and lots of whipped cream for a delicious treat. So yummy good!

I suppose this pudding obsession started when I was just a tiny sprite. All I wanted to do was dance and make art. And so it was a delightful surprise to find myself finger painting with vanilla pudding!

This is definitely one of those early memories. My mind palace (oh, you must catch up on some Sherlock Holmes, friends) stores a few things. Some of which is important, while loads of other things are beneficial to no one. Recently, my mind palace opened the cabinet labeled “childhood friends.”

Or maybe it was “pudding.”

Anyway, the memory involves both! I distinctly remember that day at pre-school. I was probably 4 years old. And, wow, I was having the BEST TIME finger painting with vanilla pudding while liberally snacking simultaneously. I’m pretty sure the sugar overload put my dance mode into overdrive that day.

The memory continues as I look up from my masterpiece. Really, its just streaks of vanilla pudding on super white paper. The “camouflage” worked in my favor because the pre-school staff couldn’t tell that I was eating more than I was painting. I remember looking up and laughing with my buddy Wesley. His eyes squinted tight and his bushy eyebrows danced as he giggled with me.

I suppose my very first childhood friend was Wesley Yee. Even before I could remember, our moms were pregnant at the same time and taking us to Sunday service at Chinese Presbyterian Church in Oakland Chinatown. We didn’t know it, but God was already doing some good things in our lives!

Pre-school with Wes was the absolute best!

He had mischievous eyes and boundless energy tinged with a bit (or maybe it was a lot) of stubbornness.

One day at my mom’s, I was desperate to find a good hiding place while our friend Corby counted down. Wes pointed to the laundry hamper. It was the perfect hiding spot! He was always looking out for me. I’ll never forget that!

Wes and I managed to graduate from pre-school and officially start Kindergarten together at Cleveland Elementary. Growing up in Oakland was amazing. The 1970-80s (yes, LAST century), was a very different time. You know, “Gen X” kids lived on the edge. We were were thrust into independence by age 6. We lived on red vines and M&Ms and stashed our house key on a chain around our necks. We walked or Aunt Clara (AC Transit) or BART took us everywhere. The entire San Francisco Bay Area was our playground and we enjoyed: $1 games at the Oakland Coliseum, roller coasters at Great America, pizza and LPs in Berkeley to Christmas window shopping at Union Square. The general rule was to be home when the streetlight went on. And, in East Oakland, our friend group was as diverse as it gets. Most of my friends were first generation kids from all walks of life who were totally focused on getting to the top of the class, getting into a big university and achieving much more than their immigrant parents. Thank goodness, cause I needed that extra peer pressure to keep my wandering creative side in check.

So, the years passed between us. Wes wandered over to a different high school (he went to the one up on the hill where all the rich kids were) after middle school. In our 30s – 40s, we would have a yearly catch up. He’d bring his wife and two young boys to my church’s Harvest Festival (Halloween alternative). It was so great to see him as dad and husband.

The last few years, though, had been tough on Wes: divorce, illness, the passing of his dad. I found myself helping my dear friend with a Go Fund to cover medical expenses. Wes found himself leaning more on God and his Faith. He brought his brother with him to a weekly Bible study group too. I so appreciated his FB messages and videos that he shared from church.

You can imagine what a shock it was when I got the call that Wes has passed away.

In an instant, my first childhood friend was gone. No more pudding. No more mischievous deeds.

At his service, we sang two of his favorite songs: “I Can Only Imagine” and “In Christ Alone“. (click to see the music videos). These songs remind us that God has some fantastic plans for our lives here and in Heaven.

My heart is sad. But in the midst of the darkness, hope shines anew. Wes believed with all his heart that life here was just for a season. And in this new season, he is in Heaven with God where there are no more goodbyes. Wes’ untimely passing reminds me of our fragility. And, in my selfish pursuit of life, I have allowed too much time to pass between the renewing of friendships. Death does that. It reminds us that our life on earth is finite. I hope you’ll take a moment to reach out to a friend today. Take a breath together. Enjoy the moment. Be present.

There is no greater joy than knowing Wes and I will be reunited one day. Until then, I hope you’ll join me and raise a bowl of pudding to my dear friend Wes.

Love you, my friend.

Childhood Friends! L-R front: Sherman Lee, James Yu, Wesley Yee, Dao Duong, Mickey Kong. L-R back: Joyce Yee, Aly Yee, May Shiu.